Human Sterility
By Bart Vogelzang

This morning was not quite like other mornings recently, and it has nothing to do with the dark overcast sky, as opposed to the recent wave of hot sunny days. No, the overcast seems to be in my mind. Shadows, vaguely ominous in nature, are causing me some angst.

To be sure, reading about ever more American right-wing politicians weighing in on how and to what extent that LGBTQ human rights should be crucified, and that we are a bunch of God damned perverts because we happen to love someone of the same gender, or happen to be born with a mismatch between our inner psyche and our outer body, doesn’t make for nice reading, and could obviously be justification for feeling in the shadows. But that isn’t it. That’s not at the root of the problem.

The root, as far as I can analyze myself, is that I feel helpless. On a universal scale of judgment, I am a negative; I detract from the wonder of the world, and its functioning is not bettered by my presence. Sadly, I am not the only one who is a negative. I don’t actually think anyone exists who is a positive, who actually makes this world a better place; we are all rather more or less of a problem, which is another good reason to feel gloomy.

When we are born, we have a clean slate, or at least a clean diaper, but it doesn’t take long before our shit starts to pollute the world. We consume resources to an astounding degree, from food to materials to time and attention. It only takes a few short months before we start to destroy actively, crawling around pulling things over and generally causing mayhem. This goes on for years, and while the parents usually dote on their kid, thinking they are the most wonderful things ever, it is only true within the context of the human family, and only by overlooking some of the uglier aspects of childhood. Ignore the hitting of the siblings, the stealing of candies, lying about who did what.

The trouble is, we don’t live in our human family exclusively; we are part of the overall world, and as such we seem to suck an inordinate amount out of it without putting much of anything back. Even much of our so-called farming is really strip-mining the soil, to the point of the nutrient values of farm soil being so poor that trace nutrients in crops are down to 20% of what they used to be. Yes, you can ‘eat healthy’, but much of that food is actually depleted of its value; and yes, people have ‘created’ that. If you let nature go, it will result in a thriving cultural mix of plants and animals that each feed and support each other. Instead, we humans have created monstrous systems of mono-cultures which are all using up the same required nutrients, depleting the resources of the world. We are blinded by the visions we have of being ‘above’ nature, which probably started with God’s supposed word that we have ‘dominion’, and escalated from there.

Sadly, it is not only the soil that suffers from lack of diversity caused by our own bungling systems to create uniformity, but so does the tapestry of humanity itself. It seems we cannot be left to our own devices, to thrive as each component of humanity adds its own bit of freshness, innovation, love, and emotional nutrients. No, the systems we have created, from big religion to big industry to government, small or large, all insist on stripping the differences out of us, creating uniformity of thought and action, and leaving us as mere husks of our former diverse selves. Until we are all identical, those systems will not rest, yet once we are all identical we will have perished anyway, and we will be merely sterile unproductive soil in our own way.

Just how does the carrot in a field of wheat let the machinery know that it is just fine if left to thrive without interference? How does the LGBTQ person let the machinery know the very same thing applies to us? Is it any wonder I feel those shadows, as I ponder how to change things for the better.